Singularity

sin·gu·lar·i·ty
noun

1. The state, fact, quality, or condition of being singular.
"he believed in the singularity of all cultures"

2.Physics, Mathematics
A point at which a function takes an infinite value, especially in space-time when matter is infinitely dense, as at the center of a black hole.

3. Technology.

The Singularity is the hypothetical future creation of super intelligent machines. Superintelligence is defined as a technologically-created cognitive capacity far beyond that possible for humans. Should the Singularity occur, technology will advance beyond our ability to foresee or control its outcomes and the world will be transformed beyond recognition by the application of superintelligence to humans and/or human problems, including poverty, disease and mortality.

Revolutions in genetics, nanotechnology and robotics (GNR) in the first half of the 21stcentury are expected to lay the foundation for the Singularity. According to Singularity theory, superintelligence will be developed by self-directed computers and will increase exponentially rather than incrementally.

Futurists such as Ray Kurzweil (author of The Singularity is Near) have predicted that in a post-Singularity world, humans would typically live much of the time in virtual reality -- which would be virtually indistinguishable from normal reality. Kurzweil predicts, based on mathematical calculations of exponential technological development, that the Singularity will come to pass by 2045.

4. Me.

The Singularity will be a point in my life where I am functioning at such a high level that the potential for my future will be infinite and unbounded, My experience in the present will be close to 100% flow.

In positive psychology, flow, also known as the zone, is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.

In The Flow

Saturday Journal

4th consecutive DailyOM!  Keep it up. Was about to have a starchy smack...now it's fruit and tea.  No alcohol until HippieHillbilly Fest.

Journal on Friday

Permanent Weight Loss with Self-Hypnosis
by Rena Greenberg
Lesson 1: Introduction- Beginning Your Journey

Started over, Lesson 1, 3rd consecutive day.

222lbs. Will celebrate @ 210.

On my Mind.

Where I am now.

Journal on Wednesday Getting Off My Ass

Back to DailyOM weight loss recording. Day 1.
Trying to get off my ass.

Journal for Thursday

Dream Journal: I Dreamed that I was in college and not doing well. The teachers were examining my work. A fellow student asked for my notes and they were a mess. I had no clue. I then perked up and started massive amounts of studying and extracurricular activities. I programmed  zip cars to go and get pizza and later prostitutes for blow jobs while studying. I was apparently a genius.

When I woke up (literally and figuratively) I threw out 2 hard ciders in the rifge and wrote a note to check on Alex's HPV vaccine status. Also motivated to clean and organize the den for active project control. 

Got inspired...Joined Mindbloom

Journal for Sunday, Bass Primmer

Got all the positive juice....need positive actions to follow. Manifest The Magna Odyssey.


Magna Carta: "No free man shall be seized of imprisoned or stripped of his rights, or outlawed or exiled, except by the judgement of his equals or by the law of the land.


Dubstep:


deep, reverberating bass (aka 'wobble')

samples of vocals that can be repeated (ie: haunting)makes you want to melt into the ground beneath your feetprogressive, some may say repetitive, but in a relative way that trance is progressive and emotionaldeepdirtygrungydarksexyslightly reminiscent of dub/reggae
there is good dubstep and there is bad dubstep like any other genre of music. you just gotta listen to more and more and more and more to figure out where that fine line is for you.

Sub-bass sounds are those approximately below 60 Hz and extending downward to include the lowest frequency humans can hear, typically 20 Hz. In this range, human hearing is not very sensitive, so sounds in this range tend to be felt more than heard.[1] Sound systems often feature one or more subwoofer loudspeakers that are dedicated solely to amplifying sounds in the sub-bass range. Sounds below sub-bass are called infrasound.


Drum and Bass (Also written as drum 'n' bass or drum & bass and commonly abbreviated to D&B, DnB or D'n'B) is a genre of electronic music also known as Jungle which emerged in England in the early 1990s. The genre is characterized by fast breakbeats (typically between 150–180 beats per minute) with heavy bass and sub-bass lines. The "bass line" is usually created with sampled sources or synthesizers.

Subwoofer A subwoofer (or sub) is a woofer, or a complete loudspeaker, which is dedicated to the reproduction of low-pitched audio frequencies known as bass. The typical frequency range for a subwoofer is about 20–200 Hz for consumer products,[1] below 100 Hz for professional live sound,[2] and below 80 Hz in THX-approved systems.[3] Subwoofers are intended to augment the low frequency range of loudspeakers covering higher frequency bands.

Subwoofers are made up of one or more woofers mounted in a loudspeaker enclosure—often made of wood—capable of withstanding air pressure while resisting deformation. Subwoofer enclosures come in a variety of designs, including bass reflex (with a port or passive radiator in the enclosure), infinite baffle, horn-loaded, and bandpass designs, representing unique tradeoffs with respect to efficiency, bandwidth, size and cost. Passive subwoofers have a subwoofer driver and enclosure and they are powered by an external amplifier. Active subwoofers include a built-in amplifier


Trap music is a music genre that originated in the early 1990s in the Southern United States. It is typified by its aggressive lyrical content and sound, where the instrumentals are propelled by 808 kick drums or heavy extended sub-bass lines, double-time, triple-time and other faster time division hi-hats, layered synthesizers, and "cinematic" strings


Build your bass music vocabulary:
dubstep
dub/regge
Trap!
DnB (drum 7 bass)
electronic
dance

Journal for Saturday

Big day Friday. Asked what I wanted for 801 Driver. Will have funds for real estate investments, but need to be more strategic, better manged than the original

Random Thought: Have a black partner, make money flow into the neighborhoods we are developing.  Hire almost anyone who wants a job. If they can't do the work, they lose the job, but can apply for another, or the same one if their circumstances have changed, i.e., they changed their minds in a fundamental way.  Like, me on Friday (Yesterday). I will officially call it a peak experience day.

Resolved a conflict in my personal life
Made a bold proposal in my business life.
Had a separate proposal shut down in my business life
Didn't like but, but quickly recovered. Be Happy, who wants to be around people who are not happy?


Call Omar and remind him that time is money.

Random Thoughts

To support a healthy body-mind-soul I need to be more in body and less in my head.
You need to balance mental exercise like physical exercise. You need to have periods of recovery (relaxation) to balance periods of high performance. They need to balance one another...either extreme is not support optimal health.

Some minds excel at detail. Some minds see only the big picture. The ones who can do both, we call them geniuses.

Mainstream media is on the side of the international bankers over the sovereign government of a democratic country.  Is this profound or no duh?

Action Required: Start a Random Thoughts Blog. Interesting, compelling questions. No pedagogic solutions, just open discussion. When I get 100 organized random thoughts, I can start to publish them in the blog.

Don't be rude....ever.

Random Thought: If you are not very sad sometimes, you are not paying attention, or you have achieved enlightenment (at least, gotten close)

Random Thought: Have a black partner, make money flow into the neighborhoods we are developing.  Hire almost anyone who wants a job. If they can't do the work, they lose the job, but can apply for another, or the same one if their circumstances have changed, i.e., they changed their minds in a fundamental way.  Like, me on Friday (Yesterday). I will officially call it a peak experience day.

I have a goal to experience more episodes of A Maximum Effort, Executed Perfectly. This is when a major goal is achieved or an effort that was close to top capacity (physically, mentally, spiritually) or very high performance was performed in a way that had maximum desired effect with minimum effort. (Like the Chinese cook of an emperor who cut the meat effortlessly (in the space between the joints). This should be called "Chef Surgery"

Mindfulness, radicalcourse

"Mindfulness is a translation of a word that simply means awareness. It's a direct, intuitive knowing of what you are doing while you are doing it. It's knowing what's going on inside your mind and body, and what's going on in the outside world as well.

Most of the time our attention is not where we intended it to be. Our attention is hijacked by our thoughts and emotions, by our concerns, by our worries for the future, and our regrets and memories of the past. Mindful awareness is about learning to pay attention, in the present moment, and without judgement. It's like training a muscle - training attention to be where you want it to be. This reduces our tendency to work on autopilot, allowing us to us choose how we respond & react."

Interest in mindfulness has been growing steadily in recent years. There are now thousands of research studies into the uses of mindfulness, and professionals are using mindfulness in Boardrooms, Schools, Prisons, Court rooms and hospitals across the world. Mindfulnet.org is an independent mindfulness website that aims to provide "everything you need to know about mindfulness in one place".

3rd consecutive day of mindfulness practice. (10+ minutes of meditation combined with conscious moments of Be Here Now through out the day)

Open source symbols from radicalcourse"  Tattoo with bike in center?

    

Hello!

I recently got this tattoo and wanted to share it with y'all. I used the mindfulness symbol and had my artist play around with it a bit. I also wanted to incorporate a woman as the drop of water which was inspired by this poem by Noel Frederick McInnis-

“Be as water in, without friction. Flow around the edges of those within your path. Surround within your ever-moving depths those who come to rest there- enfold them, while never for a moment holding on. Accept whatever distance others are moved within your flow. Be with them gently as far as they allow your strength to take them, and fill with your own being the remaining space when they are left behind. When dropping down life’s rapids, froth and bubble into fragments if you must, knowing that the one of you now many will just as many times be one again. And when you’ve gone as far as you can go, quietly await your next beginning.”

radicalcourse   http://www.radicalcourse.com/

The blueprint:

1. All problems have their roots in human mind.
2. The solution to the problems of humanity lies in the universal truths.
3. At radicalcourse we create visual symbols for these truths and spread (see how) them.
4. Our symbols inspire people to design their lives according to these universal truths.
5. By designing their individual lives, people design a good society.

Carl Jung

Taming Angry Emotional Outbreaks

What to do: The six-second technique takes longer to describe than to do, but it’s very simple. The steps…

• First, choose an external cue, something that happens around 10 times a day—for example, turning on a faucet or checking your e-mail. Every time that cue occurs, use it as a reminder to do the exercise.

• Silently say to yourself, “My mind is alert, my body is calm,” and inhale through your nose for a slow, easy count of three. Imagine your breath coming up from the bottoms of your feet and traveling through your legs, abdomen, chest, arms and shoulders…and invite a pleasant feeling of warmth to flow through your body.

• Then exhale for a relaxed count of three (or even four), letting your face, jaw and neck go loose. Allow that warm feeling to flow downward…imagine it carrying away any tension from your head, trunk and limbs and sending it out the bottoms of your feet. When you’re done, gently resume your normal activity.


What to expect: With a regular practice of mindfulness, in a few weeks, you’re likely to notice a reduction in angry fireworks…and a growing sense of emotional resilience, balance and calm.

Source: Marsha Lucas, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and neuropsychologist who has been studying the brain-behavior relationship for more than 20 years. The author of Rewire Your Brain for Love: Creating Vibrant Relationships Using the Science of Mindfulness (Hay House).www.RewireYourBrainForLove.com

Reality Check

When you start getting upset about something, take a moment to think about the situation. Ask yourself:
How important is it in the grand scheme of things?
Is it really worth getting angry about it?
Is it worth ruining the rest of my day?
Is my response appropriate to the situation?
Is there anything I can do about it?
Is taking action worth my time?

Use Empathy

See the Humor in Your Anger

Listen Effectively

Live Each Day as if it's Your Last

Studies show that both approaches — noisily expressing your anger or soundlessly burying it — are equally harmful. Home Grown: Acknowledge, Accept, Chill, Analyze, Act. Congratulate yourself

Questioner: How can one control it?

Dadashri: The control is present. Recognize that the person who throws the stone at you is merely your nimit (someone instrumental) who is bringing to you, the effects of your past karma. When you see a stone falling from a hill, your anger does not arise. In the same manner, here too you should exercise control, because everything is just like the hill. If a car is coming head-on at you, will you get angry or will you move out of the way? Would you crash with the car? You are aware of the consequences. But when you get angry, the internal destruction is much greater. The external destruction is obvious to you, but you are not aware of the internal destruction. This is the only difference.


If you let go a little, you will have a little happiness.
If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of happiness.
If you let go completely, you will be completely happy.

Motorcycles Make The Best Drug

https://rideapart.com/articles/8-reasons-why-motorcycles-are-the-best-drug

1) Motorcycles Are Legal
Want to get into motorcycling? Just walk your way down to the DMV, apply for a learner’s permit and sign up for a class. A few weeks later, you’ll be handed a license and getting your jollies in a legally-sanctioned manner. All 50 states allow the recreational use of motorcycles and you can even take yours across the border to Canada.

2) Motorcycles Are Safe
The high you experience from motorcycles has not been conclusively shown to clog your arteries, impair your brain function, shut down your heart or collapse your septum.

…Sometimes

3) Motorcycles Make You More Appealing To The Opposite Sex
Leather jacket? Check. Dirty jeans? Check. Confident swagger? Check. Devil-may-care attitude? Check. There’s a reason bikers are one of the most iconic images of the American male in his prime — women dig us. Are you a female? Do you ride bikes? Can I have your number?

4) Motorcycles Make You Confident
Somehow, using nothing but your wits to overcome danger has a way of making more mundane problems like a difficult job, a crazy boss or striking up conversation with a pretty girl just pale in comparison. What other people consider scary, we simply scoff at.

5) Motorcycles Come With Friends
Is there any family more closely-knit, as immediately welcoming, as endearingly awkward or as ready to help out its members than that of the biker? I know there’s not one that involves more spooning.

6) Motorcycles Expand Your Consciousness
The sights you see will become more intense. Nature isn’t just a vague concept; it’s something we feel and smell and something which causes us both intense pain and intense pleasure. And in a way outsiders will never get to experience. Motorcycles change your perspective on life, they expand your horizons and they alter the way your mind is wired.

7) Motorcycles Make You Forget Your Problems
Bad day at the office? Girlfriend dump you? Is there any more life-affirming experience than just hoping on your bike and going for a ride? They make you focus on nothing but the ride and, by the time you’re

8) Motorcycles Justify Their Cost
Drugs? Money down the drain. But a motorcycle? It’ll likely cost you less to buy and own than a boring old car. You’ll save money on the purchase price, you’ll save money on gas and you’ll never sit in traffic or pay for parking again as long as you live. Heck, you could likely sell your car today and use the proceeds to fund an entire year of riding, a decision that will actually improve your life.

How to Find Your Life’s Purpose and Make Yourself a Better Person

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/how-find-your-lifes-purpose-and-make-yourself-better-person.html

Tuesday Journal

Just finished 2nd week of 1 hour/day 6 x week exercise!  14+ mile ride today...not easy! Biked over 90 miles in last 2 weeks, averaging 1hr/day x 6 days a week almost exactly.

Not sure I am getting any stronger or more fit yet. Weight is steady, but diet is slipping.  Need to get back to Self-Hypnosis for weight loss.  Will reboot on my rest day, WEDNESDAY!

Wednesday Journal

"THE AMAZING JEWEL WITHIN
At the same time, each of us also enters the world with an incredible jewel of love, more powerful than any wounding, deep in the center of our hearts. How can you confirm that you, in fact, do have such a place of profound beauty inside yourself? If you put your hand on the center of your chest, bow your head, and breathe deeply into this place, you can make contact with an incredible, indescribable, love and light. This light is a secret place that is the doorway for the healing of your cravings."  From DailyOM

Let the light shine.

1st Week of the Rest of My Life

The key to vibrant 3rd stage of life in  Younger Next Year is simple (not necessarily easy), Exercise 6 times a week, 1 hour each day, for the rest of your life.  So, I am just completing the 1st week of the rest of my life. Today will be (about to go for a bike ride) the 6th day of 1 hour exercises.  Congrats David!!!

I am still carrying a lot of emotional baggage, not surprising. I am concerned about how it is stored in my fat cells, literally and emotionally. So I looked it up...

This article uses mini storage as a metaphor for how we store old stuff in out far cells...the "stuff" being fat along with toxins and emotions. I need to prepare and encourage this purging.

Deflating Full Fat Cells    Internal clutter inhibits freedom.

Article by Teresa I Becker. http://strategic-health--inc.mybigcommerce.com/
http://teresabecker.com/

EMPTYING STORAGE UNITS

Internal clutter inhibits freedom. Chemicals and toxins will naturally flow out with the fat molecules as they leave the fat cell. That’s why it is important for someone who is losing weight to make sure that their body’s trashcans (colon, liver, lungs, kidneys, and skin) are optimized. Pay careful attention to these parts of your body if you are on dedicated weight loss plan! If you don’t, you may feel quite ill. Not feeling good on several levels may undermine your weight loss effort. A good colon cleanse is a great way to start a weight reduction program. Also consider taking probiotics to boost your immune system and add in digestive enzymes to assist the digestive tract with breaking down foods. Lastly, research herbs that strengthen the liver, kidneys, and lungs. Those organs will thank you for your help.

In the process of emptying a storage unit, a person is likely to come across items that bring up old memories and emotions. Emptying the fat cells of the body does the same. Usually the emotions that surface were the ones we felt when we were stuffing ourselves to compensate for shortages in other areas of our lives. Emotional eating is a huge factor in weight gain. Food makes us feel happy and we forget our troubles for a while. Sometimes the fat insulates us from perceived dangers. Whatever the reason for storing the emotions, they are felt again as fat is released. Letting go is not easy physically or emotionally. Without support, it’s easier to give up. That’s why it is important to get the emotional support you need to process old emotions appropriately.

WHEN FAT CELLS ARE MOSTLY EMPTY

The body will always have some fat cells with fat in them. They act as insulation for temperature regulation and for energy when food is not available or the body is sick, so it’s not healthy to have too low of a body fat percentage. The good news is that a mostly empty fat cell doesn’t take up much room.

As a person who struggled with an abundance of overstuffed fat cells, I’m once again learning that the body will change given the right conditions. As we feed it the best foods, move it in the best ways for us, and send continual positive mental messages to it, the body will transform.

On a personal note, I’m doing martial arts training and it is changing my body! And, I’ve stopped hating myself (in subtle and not-so-subtle ways). Going vegetarian also changed how I look and feel. It all adds up – diet, movement, and emotional work. You can change whatever you want to change. You just have to choose it and allow no compromise.

Action Step

If you feel like it’s time to empty your fat cells, consider starting by emptying your house, your garage, and any storage units you have. Those places are metaphorical representations of your body. Plus, as you empty your living spaces of unnecessary objects, your muscles will require lots of extra energy. If at the same time you eliminate sugars and processed foods from your diet and up your protein and good fat intake, and spend time with a good counselor/coach, the body will begin to empty your fat cells.

You will love the extra space in your house and the freedom found in a smaller, healthier body. You won’t have to pay for a storage unit or medical bills. That’s a win/win situation!

Affirmation

I will remove from my life anything that is not beautiful, beneficial, or loved.

Sunday Journal

Keeping on track with exercise. This is my 4th consecutive 1 hour/day aerobic exercise. Done a combination of walk/jog and cycling . Usually in zone 2&3, some 4 and a couple of touches of zone 5. (really out of shape going up fairly modest hills). But I'm out there...doing it. Yea me!!!

Need to get back listening to Self-Hypnosis recordings to lose weight. Weight loss is on track...I believe on weigh-in tomorrow morning I will be a full 10 lbs down. Only 58.5 to go!  Well that doesn't sound so good...how 'bout completed 14.5% of goal. That sounds like a real start.

Friday Journal

Yesterday, completed my first 1 hour aerobic exercise session. So, according to Be Younger Next Year, I only have to do this 6 days a week for the rest of my like and all will be well. It's likely a coincidence, but my weight is also down to a level I have not been at for a while. I hope to complete a full 10lb loss by weigh-in on Monday.

From Permanent Weight Loss with Self-Hypnosis:

What are your most challenging situations? Take a moment to write down these challenges now. Exercise: My greatest obstacle to achieving and maintaining my ideal weight is ______________________________________ Now ask yourself, "What do I have to believe about myself for this to be true?" Remember to be gentle with yourself. This is not about judgment or condemnation, rather it's a self-exploration to help you uncover a deeper, more empowering truth.

My greatest obstacle to achieving and maintaining my ideal weight is eating late at night. Lately I've been doing carrots and celery with hummus. It turns out hummus has a lot of calories, but it does not have a lot of carbs, so it doesn't trigger a "mad search for sugary snacks" just before I go to bed.

For this to be true I need to believe that I am desperate for supportive emotions (read love) before I go to sleep. All things considered, not a big surprise. But may be instructive as a way forward. 

So my new goal is "Fit and feeling loved." F&FL. 

Honda VF 750C Super Magna V45 (1987-88)

"Honda designed the VF750C Magna as the ultimate cruiser by taking the basic concept of a cruiser and mounting a big, sporty engine. The bike ended up being very comfortable, powerful and stylish and it gave birth to an entire new concept of motorcycle, the power cruiser."

Still not sure if this is a dream goal, or just a silly fantasy. When I am debt free and fit, it will be time to sort this out.

Journal for Tuesday

Only one day behind on Journaling, will be caught up today (Wednesday). Did my 1st full hour aerobic exercise on Tuesday, walking in woods with he dogs.

Journal for Monday

Going back from Wednesday to add in daily comments. Exercising, but gained 2 lbs and not doing self-hypnosis each day. Did 6+ miles bike ride w/heart monitor. 25 minutes total.

Journal for Sunday

Being posted after the fact.  Been keeping up with gradually increasing aerobic exercise daily. Getting spotty on the listening to the weight loss tapes daily.

Journal for Saturday

Aerobic exercise for 20 minutes w/heart monitor. Only a few minutes in the zone...being consistent but VERY careful not to aggravate ankle & heel. Will try cycling w/monitor today.

My Bike-E

Let's see how this goes with the monitor & JayBird Bluetooth earbuds.

Journal for Friday

Working toward 1 hour/day 6x a week exercise (From Younger Next Year).

Commitment: Spend the hour doing something physical, even it can't having limitations (like sore ankle currently.  Makes notes, daily, or in DigiFit. review each week on Sunday evenings. 

So far:

Tuesday: 40 minutes, with 27 in the zone. 

Wednesday: Nothing

Thursday: 20 min minimal cardio. Wanted toake sure no ankle problems.

Where I am today: I am really scared. Getting the picture (from rough but real MKP I-Group last night) that my marriage is at major risk and I've been off planet for most of 2015.

Started an assessment of the relationship, but realized immediately that all the big issues are mine. 

Can this be me?

From TUT:

 Happily, as the Universe once wrote, when you feel fear, it invariably means you're:

   

1. Exactly where you're supposed to be.

2. Doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing.

3. Becoming more than you've ever been before!

10 Ways You May Be Fooling Yourself (and the Unpleasant Consequences)

By Barrie Davenport

http://liveboldandbloom.com/09/life-coaching/10-ways-you-may-be-fooling-yourself-and-the-unpleasant-consequences

One of the best and worst things that can ever happen to you occurs the day you wake up and smell the coffee.

The day that something or someone shines the bright light of truth on a belief or situation, and you awaken to that truth, can be Earth-shattering and life-changing.

It is an inevitable part of being an adult, having been impacted by people and life experiences, to have our heads buried in the sand about certain parts of our lives. There are places where we've clung to beliefs and behaviors without ever investigating or challenging them.

Sometimes we do this out of ignorance. But I think most of us know on some deeper level that we are fooling ourselves. It’s just too uncomfortable or painful to admit it.

One of the most important requirements of personal growth and evolution is the willingness to poke around in these areas and awaken to the truth.

Often this happens abruptly and unexpectedly when something or someone forces it upon us. This can be extremely painful, like ripping a band-aid off of a wound.

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.” ~Buddha

So let’s talk about the reasons why it’s so essential to stop fooling yourself and to wake up to the truth. In certain situations, it seems best to just “leave well-enough alone.” Why stir the pot unnecessarily if you are functioning pretty well? There are many reasons why . . .

• Quite often, when you are fooling yourself, you aren’t fooling others.Especially those closest to you can often see through to the truth that you can’t see. Remaining closed to the truth can cause relationship difficulties and undermine your credibility and the respect of those you love and care about. When you fool yourself, you can look like a fool.

• Fooling yourself prevents you from becoming fully yourself. When you are living a lie or clinging to a misconception, you deny yourself the opportunity to live authentically and openly. Being real does require vulnerability, but being vulnerable allows for a much richer, more intense experience of life.

• Fooling yourself requires a lot of energy. As I mentioned before, most of the time we know on some level when we aren’t facing a truth or looking at reality. Beyond that inner knowing, we get hints from other people. The emotional energy required to maintain a facade or ignore a situation is draining and debilitating. This is energy we could be using for something creative and affirming.

• When you are fooling yourself, you cut yourself off from opportunitiesand learning that could bring your more happiness and fulfillment. The truth will set you on a different path, one that is in alignment with who you really are. There is such power and energy in being real that you find life is less of a struggle and the best choices and decisions come to you more naturally. Other people also find you more attractive because of your realness.

From my experience as a coach and in my own life, I've observed some common areas where we fool ourselves and lose touch with reality. Here are 10 of them:

1. Believing your thoughts and feelings define reality

This is the most common and most difficult place where we fool ourselves because we are so attached to our thoughts and feelings. We get caught in the trap of believing that every thought that goes through our heads (and the feelings the thoughts foster) is the truth. But if you examine and challenge your thoughts, you will see how few of them reflect reality.

The Awakening: Challenge your negative thoughts especially. Find evidence to the contrary. Attempt to detach from your thoughts and examine them as a detective would.

2. Believing you are right and others are wrong

This goes along with believing your thoughts but extends to your interpersonal relationships. You have established a set of beliefs based on your experiences and perceptions. This appears to you to be the best and only way in your mind. But you don’t have all of the information. Others have experiences and perceptions that add to the truth as well.

The Awakening: Acknowledge the your way isn’t the only way and that you perceive things through the filter of your personal experience. Detach from the ego-based need to be right and adopt a learner’s mindset. Recognize the potential value in all perspectives.

3. Accepting perceived limitations

We fool ourselves into believing that we aren’t capable of change, achievement, or learning. We use past failures, outdated beliefs, or simple stubbornness to prevent ourselves from moving forward in life. We accept that we are too old, too lazy, not smart enough, or not confident enough. Then we feature these excuses as “the truth” for us until we actually believe it.

The Awakening: In the vast majority of situations, we are capable of far, far more than we believe. The only way to know for sure is to try. By not trying and making the choice to believe excuses, you are making a conscious choice to limit yourself.

4. Believing you can control everything

People who fall into the over-achiever or perfectionist category often believe if they do everything right, they can control their lives and keep things exactly as they want them to be. They strive to keep their personal and professional environments in tip-top shape, according to their perceptions of perfection. This often extends to their relationships as well, as they feel the need to control the behavior of others.

The Awakening: For this situation, the awakening often occurs only after an uncontrollable event rocks the world of the perfectionist or over-achiever. Everything comes crashing down, and they realize in spite of their best efforts, there are many things out of their control. Accepting and even embracing the ambiguity and unpredictability of life frees you to go with the flow and learn to live joyfully in the moment.

5. Blaming others for your problems or mistakes

Accepting personality responsibility is hard. It means you are flawed and capable of failure. It seems far easier to deflect the blame to someone else so you won’t look bad. But unfortunately, most people see through this. And when you deflect blame, you also give away your personal power and replace emotional maturity with child-like behavior.

The Awakening: Always look at a problem or failure from the perspective of your personal responsibility and contribution. In the long run, the only behavior you can change is your own. When you accept responsibility for what you could have done differently, you empower yourself to learn and grow for the next time.

6. Believing there are no alternatives

Sometimes situations feel completely overwhelming when they go wrong. We’ve gone down a path, carefully planning our actions and choices, only to have everything blow up in our faces. In that moment, we believe we must give up. We think there are no other alternatives, no other way we can find happiness or a solution. So we simply accept the finality of failure.

The Awakening: In most cases, there is always another alternative or another way. Sometimes you have to wait until the emotional dust settles over the initial blow-up or failure. But with time, you can go back to the drawing board and find a solution. There are many paths to a successful outcome.

7. Accepting a bad relationship

When you have been in a long-term relationship, whether it’s a marriage, partnership, or friendship, it is easy to get caught in the trap of accepting what is really unacceptable to you. It is far easier to put up with the pain and frustrations than to address the real issues and deal with them. But inside, you are compromising yourself and your needs.

The Awakening: This is another scenario in which the awakening frequently happens because it is forced. Something happens in the relationship to trigger the frustrations or pain, and the truth is forced to the surface. It is far less painful todetermine what you need from the relationship, and if necessary seek counseling to help you navigate moving forward safely or ending it.

8. Living beyond your means

People spend more than they make for a variety of reasons. Some are poor money managers. Others believe they deserve or need the things they want whether or not they can afford them. And others delude themselves into believing the debt won’t catch up with them. Regardless of the reasons, living in debt irresponsible, scary, and draining.

The Awakening: Accept that debt is unacceptable to you. Shift your thinking to believe that being debt-free is more fulfilling than having all of the things you want to buy. Do what needs to be done to become debt free. Revisit #’s 3, 5, and 6 to support this awakening.

9. Looking for happiness outside of yourself

Most of us spend a lot of time seeking happiness through possessions, relationships, prestige, power, appearance, and money. These things might offer short-term satisfaction, but we can never get enough. Once we've achieved one goal, we look to the next to maintain our happiness.

The Awakening: Happiness is achieved by finding joy and contentment in the present moment. This moment is the only reality, so practice being happy in the moment. Research also has found that sustained happiness comes from service, nurturing relationships, committing to goals, and engaging experiences.

10. Believing “it will never happen to me”

This is mostly a self-delusion of youth. When you feel invincible, you think you are immune to the tragedies and misfortunes you see happening to others. Sometimes you intentionally detach from other people’s tragedies so they won’t “infect” you with their pain and problems. But bad things happen to all of us. It is rare that anyone escapes life without experiencing pain and loss.

The Awakening: Accepting that bad things can and will happen opens your heart to compassion for yourself and others. It shifts you to a mindset of gratitude for your blessings and allows you to create support and coping tools for future life difficulties. Having the faith that in spite of bad things, you will cope and survive, allows you to live peacefully in the moment.

What other ways do we fool ourselves to our own detriment? Please share your thoughts in the comments.