Taming Angry Emotional Outbreaks

What to do: The six-second technique takes longer to describe than to do, but it’s very simple. The steps…

• First, choose an external cue, something that happens around 10 times a day—for example, turning on a faucet or checking your e-mail. Every time that cue occurs, use it as a reminder to do the exercise.

• Silently say to yourself, “My mind is alert, my body is calm,” and inhale through your nose for a slow, easy count of three. Imagine your breath coming up from the bottoms of your feet and traveling through your legs, abdomen, chest, arms and shoulders…and invite a pleasant feeling of warmth to flow through your body.

• Then exhale for a relaxed count of three (or even four), letting your face, jaw and neck go loose. Allow that warm feeling to flow downward…imagine it carrying away any tension from your head, trunk and limbs and sending it out the bottoms of your feet. When you’re done, gently resume your normal activity.


What to expect: With a regular practice of mindfulness, in a few weeks, you’re likely to notice a reduction in angry fireworks…and a growing sense of emotional resilience, balance and calm.

Source: Marsha Lucas, PhD, is a licensed psychologist and neuropsychologist who has been studying the brain-behavior relationship for more than 20 years. The author of Rewire Your Brain for Love: Creating Vibrant Relationships Using the Science of Mindfulness (Hay House).www.RewireYourBrainForLove.com

Reality Check

When you start getting upset about something, take a moment to think about the situation. Ask yourself:
How important is it in the grand scheme of things?
Is it really worth getting angry about it?
Is it worth ruining the rest of my day?
Is my response appropriate to the situation?
Is there anything I can do about it?
Is taking action worth my time?

Use Empathy

See the Humor in Your Anger

Listen Effectively

Live Each Day as if it's Your Last

Studies show that both approaches — noisily expressing your anger or soundlessly burying it — are equally harmful. Home Grown: Acknowledge, Accept, Chill, Analyze, Act. Congratulate yourself

Questioner: How can one control it?

Dadashri: The control is present. Recognize that the person who throws the stone at you is merely your nimit (someone instrumental) who is bringing to you, the effects of your past karma. When you see a stone falling from a hill, your anger does not arise. In the same manner, here too you should exercise control, because everything is just like the hill. If a car is coming head-on at you, will you get angry or will you move out of the way? Would you crash with the car? You are aware of the consequences. But when you get angry, the internal destruction is much greater. The external destruction is obvious to you, but you are not aware of the internal destruction. This is the only difference.


If you let go a little, you will have a little happiness.
If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of happiness.
If you let go completely, you will be completely happy.