Keeping It Real

My current HRS-M (Haw River Sun-Men) commitments are around preparing for my Shadow Work Seminar by meditating daily, 1st thing and documenting my progress (this blog). They also suggested that I begin to gently write about grieving. So here goes,,,

Gratitude: I am truly blessed to have a son and daughter that are maturing as well balanced, healthy, happy human beings because it is a joy to my heart due to the suffering of so many I have observed.

Thoppu Karanam: Yes

Meditation: 10 minutes with music

Contemplation: I am meditating and blogging "1st thing" , which today translates to 11:00am. It's a start. For me there is a negative connotation in that statement, so I will say..."it is now and I am here."

During the HRS-M meeting last night I named my inner voice of distraction and emotional pain management, Fred. The metaphor is Bill Murray in "What About Bob?" "one of his most dependent patients, a manipulative, obsessively compulsive narcissist." For me he is the voice that always wants to distract me from what I should be doing. Likely he was created as a need to be distracted from the pain of losing my father and having an emotionally detached mother. He provided a very valuable service, but now too often rules the roost. I need to honor his service and let him go.

Grieving: As a little boy I lost my father and as an adult do not have a conscious memory of him, a second loss. I am lost as a result of loss. Rather, I often feel lost, likely as a result of loss. Rather, I often feel lost, likely as a result of not fully feeling the loss at the time. Affirmation: I can feel loss without being lost. All that wander are not lost.

Where does that quote come from?

It is taken from the book by, J.R.R. Tolkien's The Fellowship of the Ring.
"All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be the blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king."